A LITTLE LIFE UPDATE

Jos od ucenickih dana rujan je za mene bio mjesec novih pocetaka. Tako je i danas, najvise iz razloga sto sportska sezona pocinje upravo u rujnu, a zavrsava u lipnju, pa je nekako cijeli nas zivot tempiran izmedju ta dva mjeseca, prije toliko iscekivanog i zeljenog ljetnog predaha na kraju godine. Ovaj je rujan donio mnogo vise promjena i pocetaka nego svi dosadasnji. S obzirom da doista vjerujem da se carolija nalazi izvan zone komfora, proteklog sam mjeseca hrabro iskoracila iz svih mogucih zona i sve mi se nekako cini da nakon svega dolazi vrijeme za caroliju. O tome vise rijeci uskoro. Krenimo ispocetka. 🙂

Zivot s profesionalnim sportasem i selidbe idu ruku pod ruku. Sto prije to prihvatis, bolje je i lakse, pa cijeli taj proces pocnes dozivljavati kao svojevrsnu katarzu, neki divan izazov i novi pocetak. Nakon Njemacke i Francuske, put nas je nanio u divan gradic, treci po velicini u Sloveniji – Celje. Iako sam kratko vrijeme vec boravila ovdje, mislim da ga tek sad pocinjem upoznavati i shvacati koliko drazi u njemu ima i koliko sadrzaja nudi.

U strogom centru grada, u pjesackoj zoni, u zgradi staroj vise od 150 godina, nasli smo svoj kutak svemira kojeg sada nazivamo domom. Zamislite duple prozore, debele, neravne zidove, visoke stropove, lukove i stupove. Hodnike koji odjekuju i vracaju vas u neko davno, otmjenije doba. S obzirom da je cijela zgrada potpuno obnovljena, zaljubili smo se u nju na prvi pogled pa o kupnji nismo previse razmisljati.

Nakon sto smo dvije godine bile doslovno nerazdvojne, jer kad zivis u inozemstvu, baka-servis za tebe je potpuna nepoznanica, Kiara je krenula u vrtic. I priznajem, teze sam to podnijela od nje. Bilo je ponesto suza i tuznih rastanaka, ali bolje se snasla nego sto sam ocekivala. Ja, s druge strane, tesko prihvacam cinjenicu da prvi put otkad se rodila ne znam sto je radila taj dan, koliko se puta nasmijala, kojom se igrackom igrala i je li izgovorila koju novu rijec. Svako jutro dok se vozim iz vrtica, preispitujem ispravnost svoje odluke i razmisljam o zivotu na selu, homeschoolingu i mnogobrojnoj djecici koja mi se motaju oko nogu, a s druge strane produktivnija sam, brze i lakse obavljam nagomilane obaveze i znam da je ovo doista najbolje i najzdravije za cijelu obitelj.

A sto ima nova kod vas?

Bisous,
Fée


Ever since I was a student, September has been a month of new beginnings for me. Not January, like for most people, but September. I still feel that way, mostly because sports season begins in September and ends in June, so in between these months our lives are really intense, before we have a month or two to relax and set goals for the new year. I honestly believe that magic happens when we step out of our comfort zones. Last month I boldly stepped out of every zone I know so now I’m kind of starting to feel some of that magic dust being thrown at me. Yay! But let’s start from the beginning. 🙂

We moved. Again. Life with a professional athlete and moving in and out all the time go hand in hand. The sooner you accept that as a part of the process, the better for you. Now I see this whole thing as a kind of a catharsis and a wonderful challenge. After Germany and France, life brought us to Celje. Although it’s not our first time here, I think only now I’m starting to familiarize with it and see how interesting and beautiful it is and all sorts of things it has to offer.

In the heart of the city, in the pedestrian zone, in a 150-year-old building, we’ve found a small piece of universe which we can now call home. Double windows, thick walls, high ceilings, arches, columns and echoing hallways will throw you back in distant, somewhat classier times. The whole place has just been refurbished, which means that everything,  from top to bottom, is brand new. As I said, the location is amazing so the decision to buy it was a no-brainer.

For two years we were literally inseparable. When you live abroad, there are no grandparents who can look after your kids when you have somewhere to go to or you just want to take a break. We were together 24/7 and everywhere I went, I took her with me. Three weeks ago, Kiara started nursery and I admit, I took it harder than her. There were tears, yes, but she adapted much better than expected. I, however, miss her during the day and find it hard not to know what she is doing every moment of the day, how many times she smiled, what’s her favourite activity that day and whether she pronounced a new word. Every morning, after I leave her, soul-searching begins and I seriously think about life on a farm, a bunch of kids around the table, homeschooling and stuff. On the other hand, I feel more productive and see how this decision was good for the whole family.

And what’s going on with you?

Bisous,
Fée

 

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#WEEKENDCOFFEESHARE

 

There is a beautiful community of bloggers who participate in #weekendcoffeeshare, which means that every weekend they publish posts about what they would say to their readers if they were sitting down and having coffee. A lot of bloggers reflect on their week, while some of them share their random thoughts, worries, emotional burdens, etc. It’s a beautiful way to carve out space for more intimate and personal posts, especially for bloggers with topical, specific blogs. As soon as I’ve learned about #weekendcoffeeshare, I decided to join the community, because I find sharing personal thoughts very healing and powerful. I cannot tell you what I will be writing about, but I presume there will be some inspiring thoughts, plans for the week ahead or maybe even parts of my book that I have been writing for years. I will do my best to be consistent and do this every Sunday, starting from today. So prepare your cup of coffee or tea and let’s start.

If we were having coffee…

I would tell you not to mind the boxes lying around the house, waiting to be filled with our stuff and shipped to our new home. I would even suggest you to drink the coffee outside, because on a beautiful day like this, it’s a shame to be inside. If we were having coffee, I would tell you that I haven’t been sleeping a lot lately and it’s not because I am stressed or worried about something, but because I feel I have too much creative energy stored inside that keeps me up at night. I’m a strong believer in the power of both positive and negative energy and that it should always change form and never be held back. You are probably wondering what I do at night. When Kiara falls asleep, I usually make myself coffee, put on some music and listen to it attentively and ponder upon lyrics. Then I read poetry or articles on things like co-sleeping and breastfeeding, bilingual children, French bulldogs, feng shui and other random things that I’m curious about. And I write a lot. Sometimes just paragraphs that someday, I imagine, are going to be put together into a book, blog posts ideas or things and people I am grateful for at the moment. I have been enjoying myself so much that I’m sorry that I don’t have my piano with me to play a little. I have even been thinking about buying some canvas to paint, and I have never painted in my life! Imagine that! I know that this may sound crazy, but I’m not tired at all. Sleep deprivation is probably going to catch up with me eventually, but for now, I’m enjoying myself so much that I feel like I have more energy throughout the day, like I’m so excited about life that I don’t want to waste time sleeping.

If we were having coffee, I would tell you that I think people don’t know how to enjoy their time anymore and that everything is revolving around TV and social media. Try to get creative sometimes and make something. It does’t have to include writing or painting. Make a cake, plant a flower, reorganise your kitchen cabinets, but whatever you do, do it with no distractions (so preferably when you’re home alone) and let yourself fall into the meditative state, focus on what you’re doing and don’t think about anything else. I promise, you will feel amazing.

It’s 5.40, Sunday morning. The Sun is rising, birds are chirping and I can tell it’s going to be a beautiful day. I feel so alive and happy. It’s going to be a beautiful day.

Bisous,
Fée


Postoji divna zajednica blogera koji sudjeluju u izazovu pod nazivom #weekendcoffeeshare (ispijanje kave vikendom). To znaci da svaki vikend objavljuju postove u kojima pisu sve ono sto bi svojim citateljima rekli da sjede i zajedno piju kavu. U tim se postovima neki blogeri osvrcu na protekli tjedan, drugi pak pisu o svojim mislima, brigama, emocionalnim teretima, itd. Na taj nacin stvaraju prostor za osobnije tekstove, posebno blogeri koji se bavi tocno odredjenim, neosobnim temama. Cim sam saznala za #weekendcoffeeshare izazov, odlucila sam u njemu sudjelovati, zato sto vjerujem da je izrazavanje osobnih misli vrlo iscjeljujuce i blagotvorno. Nemam tocno odredjeni plan o cemu cu pisati, jer cu jednostavno pustiti da me misli vode, ali naci ce se sigurno inspirirajucih misli, planova za naredni tjedan, a mozda i dijelova knjige koju vec godinama pisem. Trudit cu se biti redovita i pisati svake nedjelje, pocevsi od danas. Natocite si kavu ili caj i krenimo…

Da upravo sjedimo i pijemo kavu…

Rekla bih ti da se ne obazires na kutije po cijeloj kuci koje cekaju da ih napunimo stvarima i posaljemo u novi dom. Predlozila bih ti da sjednemo van, jer za ovako lijepog dana, steta je biti zatvoren u kuci. Rekla bih ti da u posljednje vrijeme jako malo spavam, ali ne zato sto me nesto opterecuje ili brine, nego zato sto osjecam da sam puna kreativne energije koju sam predugo drzala u sebi i koja mi sada ne da spavati. Duboko vjerujem u moc i pozitivne i negativne energije, te da, kakva god bila, energija uvijek treba mijenjati svoj oblik. Sigurno se pitas sto radim nocu ako ne spavam. Kad Kiara zaspi, skuham si kavu, pustim glazbu, pozorno je slusam i duboko razmisljam o rijecima. Potom citam poeziju ili clanke o co-sleepingu i dojenju, o dvojezicnim obiteljima, francuskim buldozima i feng shuiju, odnosno o svemu sto me trenutno zanima. Puno pisem. Ponekad nepovezane odlomke koji ce jednog dana biti spojeni u knjigu (barem tako zamisljam), ideje za blog ili stvari i ljude na kojima sam zahvalna. Toliko uzivam u tom stvaranju, da mi je zao sto moj klavir nije ovdje da malo zasviram. Iako nikad u zivotu nisam slikala, razmisljam o kupnji pribora za slikanje! Zamisli to! Znam da zvuci ludo, ali uopce nisam umorna. Iako znam da cu uskoro osjetiti manjak sna, trenutno maksimalno uzivam, zbog cega se ta energija prelijeva u dan pa zbog te silne srece i uzbudjenja ne zelim trositi vrijeme na spavanje.

Da upravo sjedimo i pijemo kavu, rekla bih ti da mislim da ljudi vise ne znaju uzivati u slobodnom vremenu i da se sve vrti oko televizora i drustvenih mreza. Rekla bih ti da i ti pokusas ponekad biti kreativan/a. Ne moras pisati ili slikati. Napravi tortu, posadi cvijet, preslozi kuhinjske elemente. Potpuno je nevazno sto ces raditi, vazno je samo da te nista ne ometa i da padnes u to predivno meditativno stanje, da se fokusiras na ono sto radis i ne mislis ni na sto drugo. Osjecat ces se sjajno.

5.40 sati, nedjelja ujutro. Sunce izlazi, ptice pjevaju i po svemu sudeci, bit ce ovo divan dan. Puna sam energije i sretna. Bit ce ovo divan dan.

Bisous
Fée