FIRST TRIMESTER

Just like the first two times, we were shocked to find out I was pregnant because, again, we were not making any plans or trying to get pregnant. As a matter of fact, we decided to wait until the end of the year because we thought we would stay in Celje for another season or two and it would be easier to move while being pregnant than with a newborn. Also, we booked our trip to Zanzibar and you certainly don’t want to go to Zanzibar pregnant! As always, when things I cannot control happen, I try to relax and trust that it all happens for a reason which I don’t necessarily have to understand and that I’m in good hands. With years I’ve really learned to trust God, the Universe or whatever you want to call it, and hardly anything makes me worried or anxious. So I decided to relax and trust the amazing process of life and believe that every little thing is going to be fine.

First three months felt surreal and flew by really fast. We didn’t talk about the new baby too often, I didn’t feel pregnant and now looking back at it, I guess it was some kind of a defense system because of what happened in my previous pregnancy. I felt great in general, but somewhere around week 9, first symptoms crept in. I was still sticking to my morning routine: getting up before 5 am, meditation, workout or running, then work, housework, cooking, cleaning, etc. Everything was pretty normal until late afternoon, when I would become a totally different person. I felt exhausted, sad for no apparent reason, nothing would make me excited or interested and to take care of my family and our home felt like moving a mountain. I was really becoming frustrated with myself,  because I’m usually really active and positive, when one day, one of my favorite blogger sand instagramers Lucia who is also a doctor and a mom of two (pregnant with her third) talked about prenatal depression. I was listening to her and felt like she was talking about me and at the same time, I was totally relieved as I realized I wasn’t crazy or alone. Besides that, I lost my appetite and could barely force myself to eat anything, so I lost 2 kg. All symptoms went away somewhere around week 14 and since then I’ve been feeling amazing. I’ll talk about it more at the beginning of my third trimester.
Here’s a list of activities that got me through prenatal depression so feel free to share with someone you think might need it. And remember, the hardest thing is to get off the couch when you’re feeling completely down. But once you do it, everything else seems much easier:
-taking a walk
-a cup of tea
-meditation
-music
-cleaning
-early bedtime
-good company (happy and positive people are the best cure)

All in all, I can honestly say that this time around, first trimester was much easier than in my first pregnancy. I hope it stays that way.

Bisous,

Fée

*photos: Nina Lončarić

*dress: Lei Lou by Alex Dojčinović

*coat: Stradivarius (borrowed)

PRVO TROMJESEČJE

Kao i u prve dvije trudnoće, bili smo šokirani kad smo saznali da sam trudna. Nismo stvarali nikakve velike planove niti “pokušavali”, štoviše, dogovorili smo se da ćemo pričekati do kraja godine, jer smo mislili da ćemo ostati u Celju još sezonu ili dvije. Na kraju krajevam jednostavnije bi se bilo seliti u trudnoći, nego s tek rođenom bebom. Osim toga, rezervirali smo putovanje na Zanzibar, a na daleki je put u egzotični kraj definitivno napornije ići u trudnoći. Dosad sam naučila da se u situacijama koje ne mogu kontrolirati trebam opustiti i vjerovati da se sve događa s razlogom, koji ne moram razumjeti u tom trenutku te da sam u dobrim rukama. Naučila sam imati potpuno povjerenje u Boga, Svemir, koji god imenom znali to nešto iznad nas i zbog toga me malo što može uzrujati ili zabrinuti. Zato sam se odlučila opustiti, prepustiti nevjerojatnom procesu života i vjerovati da će sve biti u najboljem redu. Tako je i bilo.

Prva tri mjeseca su proletjela i djelovala dosta nestvarno. Nismo često razgovarali o novoj bebi, nisam se osjećala kao trudnica i gledajući unatrag, vjerujem da je to na neki način bio obrambeni mehanizam zbog onoga što se dogodilo u prethodnoj trudnoći. Osjećala sam se potpuno normalno, a negdje u devetom tjednu počeli su prvi simptomi. Iako sam se strogo držala svoje jutarnje rutine (buđenje prije 5 sati, meditacija, trening, trčanje, posao, kućanski poslovi, itd.), za kasnih popodneva i večeri pretvorila bih se u potpuno drugu osobu. Odjednom sam bila iscrpljena, tužna bez ikakvog razloga, ništa me nije veselilo, a briga za obitelj i dom činila se kao najveći napor na svijetu. Već sam postajala ljuta na samu sebe, jer nisam navikla biti takva, kad je jednog dana jedna divna blogerica Lucia (inače liječnica i majka dvoje djece s trećim na putu) opisala kako se osjeća u prvom tromjesečju trudnoće i spomenula prenatalnu trudnoću. Pažljivo sam slušala sve što je govorila i prepoznala se u svakoj riječi. Iako nikada prije nisam čula za prenatalnu depresiju, osjećala sam olakšanje jer sam shvatil da nisam luda, a ni sama. Od ostalih simptoma, primijetila sam i manjak apetita zbog čega sam izgubila 2 kilograma, a negdje oko 14. tjedna svi su simptomi potpuno nestali i od tada se osjećam sjajno. No o tome ću pisati na početku trećeg tromjesečja.

Na kraju, podijelit ću i popis aktivnosti koje su meni pomogle u stanju prenatalne depresije – možda nekome dobro dođe. Podsjećam, najteže je ustati s kauča kad se osjećaš iscrpljeno i nemoćno. No jednom kad ustaneš, sve postaje lakše:
-šetnja
-šalica čaja (kavu sam izbjegavala jer mi nije bila ukusna)
-meditacija
-glazba
-čišćenje
-rani odlazak u krevet
-dobro društvo (sretni i zadovoljni ljudi su najbolji lijek za sve)

Sve u svemu, mogu reći da mi je ovoga puta prvo tromjesečje bilo mnogo lakše nego u trudnoći s Kiarom. Nadam se da će tako i ostati.

Bisous,

Fée

*fotografije: Nina Lončarić

*haljina: Lei Lou by Alex Dojčinović

*ljetni kaputić: Stradivarius (posuđen)